Misguided Dreams: My Search for Self

Misguided Dreams: My Search for Self: In my search for self, In my search for understanding, In my search for acceptance, In my search for love, I have been the wrong person...

My Search for Self

In my search for self,
In my search for understanding,
In my search for acceptance,
In my search for love,
I have been the wrong person,
and i have fallen into the wrong hands.

Tabula Rasa

As a baby just arriving into this world,
we are born without any preconceived notions;
we had at our disposal a plethora of emotions to access,
our level of curiosity was high as tried to make sense of our new environment,
through sights, sound, taste, touch and what we feel,
we try to make sense of this new information through people around us.
As we developed as children, our database of emotions increase,
we could feel things at the purest level.
but as we enter into adulthood, we are taught to rationalize our feelings away,
boys are told not to cry because men do not cry,
we are taught  to ignore our feelings,
and gradually as we grow, we begin to lose our humanness
and our humanity.

Phenomenal Woman (By Maya Angelou)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

by Maya Angelou

The Mirror

A mirror is supposed to reflect back to us who we truly are
but that is not always the case
we sometimes choose to see what we want to see
even when it stares us right in the face
even when the mirror is showing us explicitly what we need to see
we still choose to see what we want to see

Carpe Diem

Do not  ask (it's forbidden to know)
what end the universe will grant to me or you,
Do not  play with Babylonia fortune-telling either.
It is better to endure whatever will be.
Whether the creator has allotted to you many more winters or this final one,
which even now wears out the Tyrrhenian sea on the rocks placed opposite
 be wise, strain the wine, and scale back your long hopes to a short period.
While we speak, envious time will have {already} fled
Seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.

The Eyes

The eyes are supposed to be the windows to the soul
but sometimes, it can be a barrier to the soul
it can limit what we are capable of knowing
sometimes it hides the truth
the eyes can hold you captive
it can also betray us
it can also leave you vulnerable to roaming preys
it can also lift you to heights of heavenly passion
it can break you even while intoxicating you
it can touch you in places that you never knew could be touched
the eyes is and can be...

I carry your heart with me

“i carry your heart with me” By E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and
whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the
sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than
the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

The road not taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;


Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Lend a Hand

I am only one,
But still i am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still, i can do something.
And because i cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something
that i can do.

(Edward Everett Hale)

Enuf!

I'll fight back,
the way i know best.
With my words i will fight you.
With my breath i will fight you.
They will cut, 'coz that's what they are meant to do.
My words will cut you and cut you deep.
I will fight back
and i 'll fight hard.
Do not take my silence as a sign of weakness,
nor my cheerful disposition as an illusion that i am an air head.
I will not go gently into the night.
I will fight back
and i will fight hard...

I shall overcome someday (by Reverend Charles Albert Tindley)

The world is one great battlefield
With forces all arrayed.
If in my heart I do not yield, I'll overcome some day.

I am unique.

Growing up, i used to believe i was unique;
different from the rest;
i know now, that it is not a belief but a fact;
i am unique;
Growing up, i also used to believe i was special;
i was a dreamer, and i dreamt of achieving great things;
i always knew, that deep down within me, i wasn't meant
for a life of mediocrity.
But as the years passed, my dreams started to fade away.
i thought, what was the point of  being unique if i am unable to
achieve my dreams.
But then i realized that i was the one that was wrong.
I defined my uniqueness wrongly.
What made me unique was my approach to life.
And now i realize that i would rather be me in my current state now,
than be someone else in a better state.